Have you ever thought about all the things we're told not to talk about?
Don't talk about money. It's not polite.
Don't talk too highly of yourself. You'll look conceited.
If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything.
Don't talk about your problems. No one wants to hear that.
Don't tell anyone your wish or it won't come true.
I break all those rules.
Money isn't some shameful or secret topic for me. I talk about what I make, what I charge, what I spend, how much something cost. There's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make me uncomfortable. I don't feel guilty. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed. I think it's bullshit that employers don't want their staff discussing what they make. In my experience it's usually because they don't want people asking for more money.
You don't want to sound conceited. I was helping my sister with her quarterly review & she got mad that I told her to talk about how amazing she is at her job. She was like "You can't say that." Why is it bad to know you're good at stuff and say that? It goes back to school. Get good grades, but don't be too smart. Don't say you know all the answers. They never understood why I wouldn't get nervous before interviews.
My answer was always the same "I'm damn good at what I do. If they don't hire me, it's their loss."
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Sometimes the bad needs to be addressed. I'm not saying you should try to hurt someone's feelings or say things to be cruel, but if something is fucked up...You HAVE to say something or it will never change. I love America's Got Talent, but sometimes in the beginning there's a contestant that is truly terrible. My first thought is why didn't their friends or family say something? You're never going to be good at everything. Some things will never be more than a hobby or passion. Ignoring that fact sets you up for failure.
Are you telling me that it's better to remain silent than to point out a downfall, mistake, or shortcoming?
It's bad manners to talk about your problems. It's a family matter. People don't want to hear that. You should be pleasant. This thinking came from a time where a lot of things were kept hidden. Domestic abuse. Unwed pregnancies that were shipped off to have babies in secret. Being gay. So many things were seen as unacceptable. There was shame attached. I'm pretty sure that's where "grin & bear it" came from.
Fuck that! It's bad for you to keep it all in. Talk about it. That's how get support & find solutions.
What bullshit rules have you been following that you're ready to toss?