My physical clutter game is on point, but digitally I'm a hoarder.
It's probably because I don't really see it. If I had almost 2,000 magazines in my living room, I'd freak out, but 2,000 emails and I hardly bat an eye... Until there's an email I need to find.
I will give myself credit, a few years ago I easily had over 7,000 emails. I feel like it was closer to 10,000 but either way it's too much.
I don't know about you, but I have a bad habit of thinking, "I'll read that later."
Truth is, there's only about 5 people I ever go back & read later. The rest just sit there. Piling up. There are people I've subscribed to that I don't think I've ever read anything they sent me, but I keep them because....
What if I need that specific information in some future mystery scenario!?!?!
Even if I did need that specific information I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know where to look for it in my email.
So, I started on my decluttering.
This is my decluttering strategy. I like it because you don't have to do it all at once & it gets rid of big chunks.
I like to start by sender. I search the sender. If I don't ever open their emails, I unsubscribe them delete them all and move on. If it's someone I read, I delete everything over 1 month old. Logins, receipts, and other important emails get sorted into folders.
The first time I did this I learned that I subscribed to a lot of people who weren't aligned with me (a big reason I never opened an email from them). I found out my inbox was filled with emails from people I had forgotten I ever subscribed to. I had saved a ton of replays that promised to let me in on "the secret" for something or another.
Second step in email decluttering is getting rid of all the starting soon and replay emails. If you're like me, that could be substantial.
Third I get rid of any sale or specials emails.
Finally, I get rid of all the emails that are more than 3 months old. This might bring up some anxiety, but honestly if you haven't read it by now you're not going to. You can always start with this step, but personally I have a harder time letting go if I start here.
So what has all this decluttering taught me??
I change a lot Every Year. You're with yourself all the time. Sometimes it's hard to notice, but each new level of you seeks out different things, people, messages. That's 100% normal.
I was resisting unsubscribing from Big Names. People who had, or claimed to have, the results I wanted, even though their messages or strategies felt off to me.
I am NOT going to go back and read it later.
I go through webinar phases. I sign up for them, then I don't watch 90% of them.
I'd love to know what decluttering your inbox teaches you.
Do you notice a theme? Is there a Big name you were afraid to unsubscribe? Was it easy for you? What did you keep? Leave a comment or send me an email about your decluttering experience.
We put off having the things we want because we always give ourselves a good reason why it can wait.
I don't know about you, but I'm pretty amazing at coming up with reasons why it can wait. I'll do it when I have more time. When I have more money. When I lose 15 pounds. When the weather's better. After I move. When I'm more stable. On my next birthday. After Christmas. Next month. When things calm down. After I pay off this debt. After I finish redoing this room. Once the snow melts.
As I go back and read those, they're not even good excuses. But they do the trick, because you still don't have or aren't doing the thing you want.
The magical thing about those reasons for not doing can go on forever, because there'll always be another reason to wait.
Christmas turns into New Years then it's someone's birthday, throw in a couple more holidays, anniversaries, someone having a baby or getting married and next thing you know we're back to Christmas.
I did that for years. I kept putting off quitting a job I hated. I literally fantasized about quitting & telling them what horrible people they were to work for. Oh, and there would be back up dancers complete with jazz hands. I talked about getting regular massages. I suppose you could argue a few times a year is regular. I talked about moving. Getting more tattoos. Traveling more. Hiring a cleaning lady, because I don't want to do it, but I want it to get done & so far the cleaning fairies haven't come to visit.
I talked about doing a lot of things, but I never got past talking.
The secret to getting what you want is stupidly simple. You have to decide you really want it, THEN....do something about it.
Granted, sometimes the Universe will give you a push. I got fired from the job I hated (because I asked for a day off. True story). I moved back to Minnesota, after my relationship fell apart. Did not see that coming.
When the Universe gives you a push, it doesn't always feel great. I prefer to do things on my terms. I have the most fantastic cleaning lady. I get monthly massages. I have an apartment that feels like me. Complete with all new stuff.
I didn't finally get those things by magic. I hired a cleaning lady. I schedule the massage appointments. I looked at a ton of apartments. I DID SOMETHING.
What have you been saying you want? What's something you can do to get that thing?
When I feel like I'm losing control, my instincts tell me to hold on to what I can salvage.
That lesson was made super clear during my move 2 years ago. In 2017 I went through a soul crushing breakup. I had been so sure he was my person. We had our future planned out, but in my head I had all the details. What my days would look like. The way I wanted my business to grow. Where we would live. The trips we'd take. Our kids. He was a huge part of every piece of my future.
Then, the person who I had planned my entire life with, cheated on me. I stood by him through A LOT, but cheating is my deal-breaker. There's no coming back from that, so I sold most of my things and moved in with my mom.
It was hard. I've had break-ups before, but never one where I couldn't support myself anymore.
I knew I couldn't stay where I was, and leaving meant I couldn't bring all my stuff. There wasn't room. I loved my stuff. I fucking worked hard for my things and this was the first time I wasn't just losing a person, I was losing my home.
I didn't even have time to mourn 1 loss before I had to get rid of my things(which felt like I was losing my identity).
I rented a container that could hold about a room and a half. A LOT less than what I had. My mom came down and helped me pack. In under a month, I found out my relationship was over, decided to move & had to have the majority of my stuff gone.
I went from, knowing things were stressed to feeling like I was losing everything that mattered to me.
I knew I was keeping my kitchen stuff. Cooking is my thing, it makes me feel like me (I have a ton of kitchen stuff). I also kept my office stuff, tvs, and most of my bedroom furniture. These were non-negotiable.
I had limited space. Living room furniture, guest room everything, bookshelves, books, movies, art, shoes, purses, clothes and a bunch of things I can't even remember anymore were sold, donated, or given away.
Some of it was easy to get rid of. SOME. Most of it I was desperately clinging to.
I have to give my mom credit, I was a bitch during this process. Pretty sure that's not strong enough of a word. I fought tooth & nail to keep things that now I wonder what the fuck I was thinking.
When things get scary, unsure or begin to fall apart most people's reaction is to cling tightly to something that gives them security.
We cling to jobs, relationships, things, and stories in an effort to create a feeling of safety. When everything is unknown, having the familiar makes you feel better.
Next time you feel yourself working your ass off to hold onto something ask yourself this one question....
What does keeping ____ in my life do for ME?
If the answer doesn't have something to do with the thing making you happy, it's time to let it go!
A lot of answers, and feelings, might come up. This is more a probably than a might.
It can feel hard to let things go in the moment, but it won't matter to you as much later on. If you're not ready, you can start by putting the item away & getting rid of it when you're ready.
Now I'm in a new place & I've replaced most of the things I fought so hard to bring with me. They don't feel like me anymore.
I've let go and I realized I was holding on because I was scared to start over from nothing. But sometimes that's exactly what you need.
It's July, so if your inbox looks anything like mine, it's filled with all kinds of messages telling you the year's half over!!!! You only have 6 months left to hit your goals!!!
I call Bullshit!
I've never been one to play by someone else's rules & I definitely don't believe there's only 1 way. That's true for timelines & goals!! Who says your goal has to fit into a year or a month? Who says the new year is a starting line?
To me that all seems a little ridiculous. (That's not saying I didn't spend years trying to fit all my stuff into predefined time slots) If you knew that you'd surpass your goal 1 month later than the date you set. Would you feel like you failed? Would you feel behind? I doubt it.
Stop letting July trick you into feeling anxious or behind.
What are you feeling you should do? Are you called to set a goal? To let go of something? To start something new or reinvent what you've been working on.
You don't need to wait for a Monday, a new moon, the next quarter or any other predetermined start day. Start whenever you feel the need to make change.
Now that we've covered the start, lets talk about the deadline.
You can set a goal without a deadline.
Counterintuitive, I know, but so worth it.
Take your goal and break it down into chapters, milestones (name it whatever you want)
This does 3 things.
-Gives you a specific area to focus on.
-Takes the pressure off
-Gives you freedom to change direction.
Treat goal setting like manifesting.
How are you feeling about your current goals?
Are you stressed? Are you scared? Scared is fine, different can feel scary. Leaving your comfort zone can be scary. If your goal feels unattainable, I have to ask if you're looking for a safe explanation of why you can't reach it.
Your feelings can show you where you're holding back or maybe where you need to set incremental goals. If your goal feels so big that you don't have any clue how to reach it, try reigning it in. Maybe pay off 1 bill instead of ALL your debt. Sign 1 client. Meet with people who are successful doing what you want. Forgive 1 person or heal 1 moment.
How will you feel when you reach that goal?
This is a great way to tell if your goal is in alignment with you. Does what you're doing give you any of those feelings? Are your actions working against those feelings? Recognize the difference between a temporary feeling & a feeling feeling.
I've set goals where I need to learn a new skill, so I feel overwhelmed, but that's temporary. I'm not gonna feel that after I know what I'm doing. I used to have a goal to do 3 periscopes a week. I hated doing them, I prefer youtube or FB lives. But I kept forcing myself to do them. That hate wasn't going away, so I switched my goal.
What does reaching the goal look like?
Are you resisting everything you think you should be doing? Are your steps to reaching the goal matching how it looks after hitting it? I can't tell you how many times I set a goal that was supposed to give me more time or make things easier, but that wasn't how I was setting myself up. More steps, more work, a bigger chunk of time.
Sometimes you have to work backwards. Take how you want it to be at the end & figure out how you get there. If you see yourself doing this thing 10 hours a week, how is it split up? Where are you getting help? What are the priorities? What is the extra?
Take a look at your goals. Revamp them. Tweak them. Throw them out & start over. Keep them just like they are. This is your reality that you're creating. No one makes the rules except you.
Intuitive clairaudient healer with a gift for getting to the point & making things seem doable.