I love home improvement shows. I've always thought I'd love to have someone come in and redo my house (of course I need to buy one first).
I think I'd be great on one of those shows because I love that kind of change. Of course I'm also the girl that painted every wall in my first apartment a different color (green, yellow, orange, & purple).
Change can be both exciting and scary.
Even when you want change, getting it can be overwhelming. That's why a lot of hairstylists, designers, and even coaches will give you a watered down version of what you say you want.
In my opinion they do that more for them than you. People say they want big dramatic change, then they first see it and freak out. Gut reaction is to want things to go back to how they used to be because that is comfortable (comfortable = safe). Then they have to undo all their hard work.
Have you ever worked really hard on something and then almost immediately had to undo it all? It can feel soul crushing.
When I first started dying my hair purple I had to go back twice after because I was so disappointed that it wasn't purple enough. I went to work & no one even noticed. I went home and cried. I almost didn't call my stylist to complain. Technically it was purple, even if indoors it looked like a boring dark brown.
The second time I went back I said "I want people to look at me and say f*ck her hair is purple" Once she knew I wouldn't freak out, we got to the point where she wouldn't even tell me what she was doing or what colors.
I'm fearless when it comes to dramatic changes to my hair or house. I think it has a lot to do with my belief that everything is fixable.
Changing careers, ending relationships, and changing my routine are changes that I used to overthink(that's code for they freaked me out because they have the potential to change my life).
I used to think about them forever before I did anything about them. There was a lot of start and stop and start over. There was this feeling that I had 1 shot to get it right.
Even when you really want change there's a good chance you'll hit a spot where you start to panic a little and get the urge to leave things as they are. No worries it's natural to get those feelings. What matters is what you do next.
Now is when you have to get brutally honest with yourself. What's freaking you out about the change?
Is it that you're realizing you don't actually want it?
I used to work with a woman that was in constant competition with her friends. Her friend got a BMW so she worked her ass off to get a BMW. Finally she traded in the car she absolutely adored for this new car that (if we're being honest) she hated.
If you don't want it, stop. No guilt.
Does it feel like you're going down the wrong path?
I had a coach that kept pushing me to focus my business towards helping other people figure out their businesses. I tried to go with it, but honestly that's not what excites me. I love it as part of the whole, but if I had to talk business all day I'd get burnt out real quick.
Adjust your path. Keep the changes you're liking and redesign what isn't you.
Is it just part of the process?
Sometimes when you begin to see the change becoming real you freak out because it's different. It's like when you get hired at your dream job and before you start you worry that you won't be good at it. What if you don't like who you work with? What if they figure out you're not qualified enough and they fire you?
Keep going. You deserve this.
Create change that excites you.
Don't you love it when you accidentally discover something? That's how I figured out my trick for determining what I really want.
The hardest thing about making changes is there are just soooo many options.
Most changes aren't as simple to undo as returning an outfit to the store (there's a fair amount of clothes in my closet that are still there because I didn't want to go through the effort of returning them).
You thought you liked it while you were in the store. The sales person was telling you how great you looked. You were surrounded by other shoppers that could pass for store models and you talked yourself into it.
Then you get home and you're not so sure anymore. You put it on and you don't feel that "store confidence", maybe you realize it feels scratchy. Or worse, you don't know exactly what it is, but there's something about it that you don't like.
What if you choose wrong? You can change it, but wouldn't you prefer to get it right the first time?
I've been using screen savers to figure it out. Or more accurately, to figure why I like what I like.
I told you I started doing this by accident. I just wanted pretty stuff to look at.
I hopped on pinterest (I may be a Pinterest addict) and went crazy. I've always loved design and I've been thinking about my future so I chose a bunch of house interiors that I liked.
I took all those pictures and set them up as a screensaver slide show. After about a week I started to realize that I didn’t like some of the pictures. I would get annoyed when they popped up.
I began removing the pictures that bugged me and I started to see trends in what was left. I was seeing what I liked and WHY I liked it.
I always knew I wanted high ceilings with beams. I've figured out I don't want the big wooden beams, I prefer metal beams and to have the wood on the actual ceiling. Can you imaging if I redid a house and spent all that money, just to walk into the living room every day and have it bug me?
My newest project is gallery walls. They're beautiful. When done right they tell a story.
It started with a framed painting a friend gave me (you can see the picture that started it all above).
It's beautiful, but I hadn't hung it because you can't hang 1 smallish frame on a wall. That and I have plaster walls so I was a little freaked out about hanging anything after hearing horror stories of walls crumbling when they were drilled into wrong.
I had just seen an HGTV episode where they did this beautiful gallery wall of different mirrors. I thought that's exactly what I need to go with my painting!
Next thing you know I've filled my Amazon cart about 3 times. I would order then get another idea of things my wall needed. I started with frames, votive holders (that I ended up not using), & floating air-plant terrariums (didn't make it on the gallery wall, but looks amazing hanging in my kitchen).
I searched mirrors (I wasn't going to spend $80 a mirror) and found a set of 24 for $24 at the Dollar Store. I thought a little paint and these will be perfect (Amazon cart #2). I got on Etsy and bought these fabulous flowers made of wire. I bought some metal prints from Displate.
Now I've bought entirely too much stuff for 1 wall. But I like options and maybe I'll do a couple more (turns out I did 3 walls).
I rarely do things in the order you would expect. Only after buying a ton of stuff for my gallery wall(s), did I begin to think about layout. To me you can't consider the layout until you know what you're working with.
Onto Pinterest. I pulled a bunch of gallery wall photos. I created phone wallpaper collages with the images. Then I would remove the images I didn't like or I was just unsure of. I kept doing this until I had it down to 4 images.
Once you have your final pictures it's time to do some digging.
What they have in common? What do you like about them? What bugs you? Where do your eyes go first? What is repeated? Is it a feeling, a color, a texture, a layout? Find your connections.
Keep going back and looking at your choices. You won't see everything all at once. Ask a friend what they notice when they look at your final pics.
What did I learn about gallery walls?
I like the frame colors to be mostly the same (2 colors at most). There’s 1 attention piece that draws your eye because it's different from all the rest (size and shape), and the rest work together to complete the story. I like the spacing to be similar. A mix of sizes. Pops of color. Drops of unexpected.
You can use this process with hairstyles, outfits, interior design, Branding photos, dishes, layouts, art, tattoos, or anything visual.
Intuitive clairaudient healer with a gift for getting to the point & making things seem doable.