The Christmas season is here. So talk of gratitude is EVERYWHERE!!!
There are gratitude challenges, the Christmas movies filled with love & miracles have started, FB is filled with #blessed, there's couples & love & family galore.
YOU GET IT...
You know it helps you to be grateful. It feels good to be grateful. But sometimes it's really fucking hard to be grateful(especially when it feels like nothing is going your way).
Last year at this time, that's exactly how I felt.
I was heartbroken. My relationship of 10 years had ended (I did not see that coming).
I was selling almost everything I owned so I could move home to live with my mom while I figured out my next step (I really liked my stuff. I worked hard for those things).
My laptop had just been stolen(I had to run my business from my phone).
There were other things too, but this all happened in ONE MONTH.
I felt like Wyle E Coyote the moment he realizes he's gone way off the cliff & falls.
I was beyond depressed. I was angry. I felt like a failure. I stopped taking new clients. My bank account was negative.
The thought of being grateful for this shitshow that was my life pissed me off.
So I get it. Sometimes you are so in the middle of it, that you can't see an out. It can be hard to see the good in what feels like an endless stream of bad. Sometimes you're scared to look for something good because you feel like that will get taken as well.
When it rains it pours.
People love that phrase. Especially around shit situations. But it works the other way too.
Start by finding something good. Even a little bit good. Even if it feels impossible, it's in there somewhere. Open yourself to the possibility.
Yes, I was alone & the person I saw myself spending the rest of my life with was gone & I had no idea what my future looked like anymore.
Yes, I was selling & giving away all the things I had worked really hard for so I could move home (a place I hadn't lived in 20 years) with basically nothing. Was not where I saw myself the year before. (Hell, I didn't see it 2 months before).
Yes I felt like I had lost everything good in my life, so what was there to be grateful for?
I still had my truck. Which was big, I could still go places. I wasn't stuck waiting for someone to take me anywhere.
I didn't have any household bills. I could pay off some debt & rebuild my bank accounts.
I didn't have anyone to think about but me. For the first time since I was 17, I didn't have a partner or pet that I had to consider. And I didn't really have any stuff. All I kept was my office, bedroom & kitchen stuff(well, most of it). I could move anywhere. I could do anything. I could get a job in Europe & travel. I could housesit my way across the country.
I could do whatever the fuck I WANTED TO DO, because I no longer had the excuses of...
Who would watch my fur baby? What would I do with all my stuff? Would my partner feel left out or lonely?
Start small. Find 1 thing to feel grateful about. And FEEL the gratitude. It doesn't matter if it's you had a good hair day, found a $1 in your jeans, got to take a shower uninterrupted, have heat in your house, were able to put gas in your car...
Just find that thing.
MAYBE TOMORROW YOU'LL HAVE 2 THINGS.
If you're going through a tough time, leave a comment or send me an email and tell me about it or book a free call with me. You're never alone (even though it can feel that way).
Call me crazy (You won't be the first), but there's a "right" way to cut a sandwich.
I will NOT eat a sandwich that's cut in half. It has to be diagonal. HAS TO. Diagonally cut sandwiches taste better (This rule applies to toast as well. Any bread really).
For years while I lived in NC, people would make fun of me for this. They said I was crazy. Too Picky. High maintenance. I could go on....
The other day I was talking to someone about this because I ordered a sandwich & they cut it wrong and I was SOOO sad. I picked the insides out, but I couldn't eat the sandwich (don't judge).
So, I'm talking to this girl. Before I start telling her my story, I'm apologizing & saying how stupid the the thing I'm about to tell her is.
She didn't think it was stupid at all. She said, "You're absolutely right! Sandwiches taste better when they're cut diagonally." Can I tell you, that made my whole day.
But wait it gets better....
So I put on Facebook how nice it is to have someone who "get's it" and... I start getting comments from all kinds of people that also agree with me. (Cue clouds parting, light filling the room & sing-songy AHHH-ah-AAAhhh).
There's been more than a few times where I felt alone, like I didn't fit in, disconnected, like nobody got me, or I was crazy to think the way I think(way more than a few).
But, I'm not alone (neither are you). There are people who get my crazy ideas, my clients love them. There's always someone who has gone through whatever you're going through. Felt the way you feel.
There's always someone who "gets it!"
I promise you they're out there. Sometimes you just need to look somewhere different.
Share your thing that makes you stand out or feel alone in the comments (or you can send me an email) & I bet you're not the only one.
"IT'S NOT ENOUGH!!!" used to constantly run through my head.
There was never enough for me.
Not enough Time...
or Hours on my paycheck.
I was working 2 full time jobs and it never felt like enough.
Every time I got a paycheck all I could think was I need it to be bigger.
Every time I got overtime I’d think if only I could get a few more hours.
There wasn’t enough money in my bank accounts. There wasn’t enough time to work more. I wasn’t getting enough sleep. 2 1/2 hours was becoming my norm(That should not be anyone's normal).
I felt like I was steadily drowning. The harder I’d try to get ahead, the more I’d struggle. It felt like what I was doing wasn’t enough.
It’s a shit feeling when nothing feels like it’s ever enough. You feel powerless. Stuck. Frustrated.
The sneaky thing about never enough is that as long as you feel it & believe it, it’s a pain in the ass to change it.
The amazing thing is that once you can let go of nothing ever being enough, things snowball into more than enough.
So how do you stop believing it's never enough??
Start by focusing on where it is enough. I had enough to buy food and gas. Enough to pay my bills.
Then let go of the Shoulds. How it should look. How it should happen. How it should come together.
Finally be open. Open to receiving. Open to possibilities. Open to things being easier.
I used to think manifesting must not be my thing.
I'd hear story after story where...
A woman quits her corporate job, starts a business & makes $10k her first month...
Someone writes out a list of her perfect man’s traits & BOOM...he shows up...
They put a house on their dreamboard & it goes on sale for a crazy amazing price and they get it...
Women who set an intention to receive a huge amount of money & she gets checks that total that amount.
Part of me loved those stories, then there’s the part that was thinking WTF!?!? Why them & not me?
I made dreamboards. Written lists until my hands hurt. Visualized. Decluttered. Forgave. Made room. Done everything I could think of & I still didn’t have what I wanted.
Those stories happen, but that’s not the only way to manifest. Sure sometimes people decide they want something & like magic, it shows up. But most of the time you play a bigger part in manifesting & you’re not giving yourself enough credit.
Manifesting isn’t always putting out an intention & having that thing magically show up.
There are lots of ways to manifest. I'm betting you already do a lot of them, but you're not giving yourself credit.
Buying something counts as manifesting. Working for something counts. Saving up for something counts. Getting it as a gift or loaned to you counts. Making it counts. Any way that you bring that thing into your reality counts, even when it doesn't feel all magical or appear as some divine intervention.
You wanted something (food, clothes, vacations)& you got it. That Is Manifesting!
I'm betting you’ve never given yourself credit for manifesting most of that.
You want to journal more, so you BUY a beautiful journal that makes you want to write.
You want a result so you HIRE someone to help you get there. A maid, planner, coach, accountant.
You want to be healthier so you BUY a gym membership, clothes to work out in, better food, a fit bit.
You want the perfect outfit for a party & your best friend LOANS it to you.
You want to find your forever man so you ACCEPT invitations to go out & do things.
Manifesting is deciding you want something & finding a way to receive it when it comes into your awareness. Go out & grab the opportunities, buy the thing, invest in the tools.
Look at all the things you have & celebrate that YOU manifested all that shit!
For most of my life, I was a people pleaser.
I would create an acceptable version of myself (sometimes there was barely any of ME) to fit the situation. I was the good one. The good student, the friend parents LOVED, the one who was trustworthy aka the spokesperson for the group with any authority figure. The responsible one (a lot of me there) employers loved her. I would become the perfect girlfriend. The funny one at parties. The quiet one with friends that loved to be the center of attention.
I would morph from personality to personality like actors do with different roles. That's what I was doing, I was acting.
There's safeness in hiding behind those masks.
You can put up with more things you dislike, because it's not really you. There's a disconnection from it (That's how I stayed at a job I hated for over a decade). I can't tell you how many times someone was mad at me & I'd give them the response they wanted just so we could move the fuck on.
Changing from person to person is a lot easier than honestly putting yourself out there.
When you decide to be the real you, it's scary as fuck(well it was for me). A lot of things come up. What if I'm not good enough? What if they think I'm stupid or don't want to be friends anymore? What if I lose people who are important to me? What do I do with all the judgement?
As scary as it is, it's so worth it to be the real you.
When you show up as your authentic self, you experience a lot more happiness & success.
You attract people who get you (such a fabulous feeling). You DO things you love instead of always doing what someone else loves. Things become easier because you start using your natural gifts & talents.
Yes there's definitely more vulnerability, but there's strength there. More connections. A shift into alignment where you learn about what you really want & what that thing looks like for you.
Even if you think you lost your authentic self to all the masks, you haven't. She's in there. Try anything that grabs your attention. Keep doing the things you like & let the rest go.
If you want help connecting to the real you, book a call & let's find the best way to work together.
Book your call here.