Everyone talks about being your authentic self. What they don't tell you is that being the authentic unfiltered version of yourself can feel fake....at first.
You've spent years conditioning yourself to fit in. To be the version of you that you think you need to be to be successful & loved. You've done it for so long that it feels natural. That doesn't mean it is.
The real question is, how do you know who the authentic you is?
Think about all the times you've thought to yourself...
"I wish I would have said ____"
"I wish I would have done _____"
"I wish I was more like ____"
The unfiltered version of you is the one who lives in those wishes.
She says what she's really thinking. She does the things (even if they're not the norm). She has the traits you're drawn to in others.
I was a perfectionist & a people pleaser. I could become whoever I thought I should be. I set acceptable goals. I saw myself working for a big company. Having the corner office. Living in a fancy apartment in the city with my equally successful husband.
All those things felt natural & unnatural at the same time, but because I had done it for so long it felt normal. It's just who I was.
Then after my life had fallen apart for the um-teenth time & was sick of crying in the shower to get through the day, I decided fuck it. I was done people pleasing & I was gonna do what made me happy. Screw what anyone else thought (much easier said than done).
I questioned everything new that I thought I wanted. Constantly wondering if it was my authentic self.
I started a business. I dyed my hair purple. I started sharing some not so popular opinions. I turned down a promotion. I dated the totally wrong guy that was totally right for me. It was uncomfortable, but it also felt right. That was a feeling I wasn't used to.
Being my authentic self felt fake for a while, but the more I did it and accepted it, the more natural it became. Now I don't question it. It's just who I am.